After All Those Tears

Assalamualaikum, peeps!

Howdy? It has been ages since I last wrote in this blog. And I miss you guys so much!

Ada sebab kenapa saya tiba-tiba menyepi. Selama berbulan-bulan, tak ada 1 entry baharu pun dalam blog ni. Tak kisahlah entry penulisan kreatif atau entry penulisan suka-suka.

Bad things happen and bad memories occur.

Something happened that made me feel discouraged to write. Something happened that made me too traumatized to write on my own blog. Something happened that made me not wanting to acknowledge that nashahadzirothman.blogspot.com is my blog. My personal blog.

Long story short, words like,
"Awak tak payahlah buang masa tulis-tulis benda macam ni. Kerja awak sekarang ni belajar aje."

"Saya nak tanya awak, awak tulis-tulis blog macam ni ada dapat apa-apa ke?"

"Dah berapa lama dah awak buat kerja-kerja macam ni?"

The way they addressed what I did was so harsh.

Kerja-kerja?

Haram ke menulis ni? Jijik ke menulis ni?

Memang at this age, 19, as a university student, the only thing that I am supposed to do is belajar sahaja ke?

I felt discouraged and dejected. It was as if I had lost my soul.

Writing is my soul. Words like that kills me.

And that stops me from writing for months.

Going to kuliah was like hell for me. The class, the building, burns me. Forcing a smile to the people who kill my soul makes me hate them even more. I forced a smile because I am trying to teach myself to forgive them because maybe they don't realize what they did wrong. But no matter how hard I try, I can't. Their words stuck like a good gam gajah in my heart.

Tengoklah, sampai sekarang I masih ingat their words, their expressions.

This is an official confession from my heart. I shared this with my elder brother but only on the surface. I didn't go any deeper. My family (except elder brother) does not know this story.  They don't even know what kind of hardship that I need to go through alone. I don't share this with them. I don't explain to them that this is one of the reason that I didn't perform well during foundation studies.

I just realized it now, I sat my final exam just to be free from my foundation studies. I didn't sat that examination with the intention of excelling. For the first time in my life, I took my important examination with no intention of excelling.

And you know what? Right after my foundation studies end, I can write again. I used up my holidays with reading and writing. Being far away from the place and the people that hurt me allow me to breathe again.

Foundation year was a tough year for me.

Three big things happen that affect me a lot.

My grandmother passed away and I had no chance to see her for the last time. My siblings got to visit her when she was admitted in the ward. All of my family members were there for her but not me. I didn't get to see her and that fact still saddens me till today. I am crying while writing this.

Second, misunderstandings with the director and lecturers. On the same day that I received the news about my grandmother, we (my friends and I) had a huge misunderstanding with the director and lecturers. How huge was it? Well, imagine this: The director wrote something like this, "Jangan percaya diaorang ni. Depan kita aje baik. Padahal bermuka-muka."
One lesson learned: NEVER try to explain yourself through Whatsapp/Social Media. Because words that are read are interpreted differently from the one that are heard.

Third, the soul-killing story that I wrote earlier in this entry.

Yes, foundation year was not as wonderful as I expected.

There are tears. The ones that are noticed and the ones that are unnoticed.

Most of them are unnoticed.

The memories that I had from back then makes me not wanting to go back to the same place. Saya tak nak selama-lamanya terperangkap dalam memori yang pahit. I want to move on. I want to create new memories.

I know it is almost impossible because I don't have any escape route. Disebabkan saya pelajar asasi, jadi saya perlu sambung degree di universiti yang sama.

But alhamdulillah, I am so grateful that Gong Badak is not the only campus for UniSZA.

Indeed, Allah SWT knows best.

Untuk 4 tahun yang akan datang, saya tak perlu belajar di tempat yang sama. From Gong Badak, I migrate to Tembila. After all those tears, I am looking forward to smile and laughter.

Bismillahitawakkaltu alallah lahaulawala quwwata illa billahilaliyyil azim.

I wish you guys all the happiness in this world.

May Allah SWT protects you, always.

Salam sayang,
NHO.

Between Simple Good Deeds and Unexpected Rizq // Di antara Perbuatan Baik dengan Rezeki yang Tidak Terjangka

Assalamualaikum and hye, guys!

Harap semua sihat dan terus bersemangat menjalani kehidupan seharian.


So, I feel like writing about deeds and rizq.

Saya rasa minggu ni saja, 2 kali saya diberi rezeki yang saya tak jangka.

Pertama, hari Sabtu yang lepas. Family kawan saya datang melawat dia. When I said kawan, I mean, we are just friends by programme. Program yang sama, tapi kelas lain-lain. Tak pernah ambil tahu latar belakang dia, or family dia. So it happens that saya approach her family just to salam, say hi and blah.

But then, mak dia suruh duduk makan sekali. And I was like, 'Alamak, aku dengan anak dia dahlah setakat kawan satu program je. Kelas tak pernah sama. Sembang kencang tak pernah sekali.'

Tapi sebab mak dia paksa, saya pun duduklah sekali. Dapat alas perutlah makan kek pisang kukus, pisang goreng dengan air green tea.

Alas perut pun balik2 bilik, kenyanglah jugak.

Who knows kan, by just saying hi, salam, simple deeds macam tu, kita dapat sesuatu yang lebih besar.

Peristiwa kedua, berlaku pada hari ini.

Today sepatutnya kami kena submit assignment online, due pukul 4 petang. But my friend's boyfriend, (both my classmates) terlupa nak submit. Dan kebetulan pula masa tu diaorang tengah keluar makan. So it's quite hard to access the kelip portal to submit the assignment since the internet connection is slow.

I was sleeping when my friend called me. Nasib baiklah fon tak silent and ringtone lagu Naruto Kanashimi Wa Yasashisa Ni tu. Hahahaha. Memang sekali bunyi terus terjaga lah kan.

Dalam mamai tu, pelik jugalah sebenarnya, kenapa dia call tiba-tiba. Rupa-rupanya nak minta tolong saya hantarkan assigment BF dia. Masa tu about 30 minutes lagi sebelum pukul 4 petang. Saya cakaplah, "Ha okey" (Bayangkan suara saya dengan mood malas baru bangun tidur). Then dia cakap terima kasih dan tanya, "Nanti aku bui mou something. Mu nok gapo? Aku bagi mu cheezy wedges deh."

Saya cakap, "Takpelah. Tak payah." Mana ada orang mamai nak demand2 ni. Hahahaha. Lagipun permintaan dia simple je.

So saya tolong and bila dia balik, dia bagi saya cheezy wedges. Katanya, BF dia yang beli.

Ni ha. Makan sorang memang kenyang lah kan.

Saya speechless lah jugak sebab cheezy wedges KFC kut. Haha. Masalahnya kawan saya tu baru balik dari makan KFC dengan BF dia. Being a student, saya pun fahamlah struggle kewangan macam mana.

Bagi saya, apa yang saya buat terlalu sedikit nilainya. Kalau dikira dengan wang, mungkin 20 sen je kut.

Itulah yang saya kata, simple good deeds yang kita buat, boleh jadi penyebab untuk kita dapat sesuatu yang kita tak jangka.

Jadi, selagi bernyawa, terus berbuat baik. Tak kisahlah nilai kebaikan tu besar atau kecil sebab at the end of the day, kita takkan tahu perbuatan baik kita yang mana yang menjadi penyebab untuk kita masuk syurga. 

Keep doing good deeds for we will never know which of it is the reason of our happy ending.


Salam sayang,
Nasha Hadzir Othman.

Sometimes, it is Not Love...

Assalamualaikum.

While my friends at other institutions are having their Raya break, I'm still at UniSZA, counting days till my holiday begins. Well, we don't really have holidays in this course. Even weekends are full with activities.

It's challenging. Yes, it is. But, we're okay.

So, about that topic up there.

Sometimes, it is not love.

University life is a life where you can find love in it. Three months here, a few of my friends are now involved in love conflicts. They said that their relationship is nothing more than just a friendship. Nah, we're not too blind to see the real colour of the relationship.

Here's the story.

At first, yes, I admit. It seems like a normal friendship. But, as time goes on, when they started to go out together, chatting on Whatsapp every moment (except during classes)... And people starts to know about them... People start to talk about them, tease them...

I just realized something. Sometimes, it is not love that makes their relationship turns from being a friend to a lover.

You know, when people teases you, when people tell you that they like seeing you with him, when people tell you that you suits him well... You will have that kind of spark in your heart. The excitement, the proud feelings, that makes you feel like you should hold on to him.

We doesn't realize that what we did (all of the teases and praises) are the causes of their relationship state changes. What we did actually makes things easier for Satan to drag humans away from Allah.

Sometimes, it's not love. It's your feelings that has been swayed by Satan, just to make sure that you're getting far from Allah. 

Just a simple and gentle reminder for me, and you in the future. If your friends are having a relationship, please don't provoke them. Please don't praise them, please don't tell them that he is good enough for her.

You don't need to tell them that you like seeing them together but you don't need to tell them that you don't like seeing them together either. Just be quiet. Don't bother about their relationship so that they can think wisely what's good and what's bad for them without influences from the outside.

Hope that they're matured enough and emotionally stable enough to think wisely. That's all.

Thank you for reading.

Pergi.

Assalamualaikum.

Remember my post on 21 August 2017?

I wrote about my friend's mother who is fighting cancer.

Just now, at 6.00 pm. I received news that her mother has passed away this evening.

It was really heartbreaking.

To those who are reading this, your dua and good wishes are welcome.

Thank you. 

Hidup.

Assalamualaikum.

It has been a while since my last update. Well, I'm okay. Things around me are going well. And I hope things are going well for you guys too.

So, being alone, away from family... I've gone through so many experiences, urging me to think A LOT about LIFE, HUMANS. Getting to know new people with different backgrounds, different stories, different attitude, is the most beautiful experience out of all experiences.

Being so far away from family for the first time ever in my life is tough. There are moments I thought of giving up. I just thought of, "Kenapa aku seorang saja yang tercampak jauh macam ni? Kawan-kawan aku tak jauh sangat pun. KL, Pahang. Nak balik sebulan sekali pun boleh je. Abang aku pun Selangor je."

Well, these thoughts happen to exist because I had to travel 13 hours just to be home. If it was 8.30 pm from KT, then I would have to sleep at Terminal Sentral Kuantan to wait for my next bus at 8.30 am (earliest). And guess what? Yeah, I can't sleep there. Even there are airconds, there are benches... Only after I had my subuh prayer done, I can sleep in the surau. (The surau closes at night, opens for subuh onwards)

Then, with the packed lecture schedule... 7 subjects that will ALL contribute to your final marks. 7 subjects, with 4 of them are science subjects... Yes, again. I feel like giving up. Since I am the only student from my school that is taking foundation in science with so many subjects, I had this thoughts, "Kenapa aku sorang je yang masih bergelumang dengan subjek sains ni? Wae? Wae? Kenapa asasi kawan2 aku yang lain semua senang2 je? Kenapa dowh top student sekolah aku tu, dia further studies dia dalam finance? And aku ni yang tak berapa top masih bergelumang dengan sains."

Yes, with all the thoughts... That are making me weaker. I, unknowingly, KILL my own soul.

So recently, I just realized something. I don't know. I was just walking around and I had this thought. (Since my university is empty now because the other students are on their holiday, I had the chance to walk slowly while thinking.)

I should not complain about why I am here. Terengganu is where Allah wants me to be. Only now, I found the hikmah.

Why am I here, instead of the overseas?
Why am I here, instead of the private universities (with scholarship)?
Why am I here, instead of Selangor or maybe just inside Pahang?

Hearing stories from my friends, seeing how the situation there changes them, I just realized that, maybe if I was there, I too, will be like them.

All I want is to be on the right path. That is what I recite everyday in my solah and before reading the Quran. And that is what Allah gave me.

Terengganu helps me a lot. My friends here, the people here, help me a lot. No, not by their helping hands, but by their stories, their actions. 

The course that I am taking now, there must be a reason. Why? Why is it harder compared to my other friends? Well, I am still searching for the hikmah. Hope that I will find it out sooner or later.

I don't really set a target here. Once, after I get my SPM results, I might want to be a doctor. But it seems that now, the desire is not as strong as before. Why? Because I saw so many, just so many of my friends that I thought more eligible than me. And, I've meet a few doctors here. Seeing their struggle, I don't think that I am strong enough to go through the pain.

Well, that is what I thought of at least for now.

I don't know what the future are going to surprise me.

For now, I will just do my best with my studies and I will live well.

About how the people here help me a lot... 

I met so many friends here, which on the outside, they look well, they are always cheerful, always happy, they look like they are living their life well. But they had this story that they keep to themselves. I thought that I had struggle enough in this life. But no, they struggle much, much, more.

Family conflicts.

I could never understand, how being a teenager, they survived. They excel in their studies. They have good manners. They're being HUMAN, despite the family conflicts that they are living in.

I really, really salute them.

Last Friday, I went to the hospital to visit a sick friend. I had the chance to visit my other friend's mother who is sick. She is fighting cancer.

The whole ward is full with patients having cancer. I just can't look at them. No, I am not strong enough. They fight for life but at the same time, they had to accept that death will come to them, anytime.

My friend, she is really struggling. We're supposed to sit for mid term examination last week. But, she had to face a bigger test. Her mother, is diagnosed AGAIN with cancer. Her mother had breast cancer before. She survived the first time. But now, the cancer cell attack her again. Now, affecting her bone.

My friend, she is SO strong. Really, really strong. She sat by her mother's side, hands holding her mother's, not crying even a bit, calmly whispering, "Lailahaillallah..." near to her mother's ears. She had a fight inside her. She wants her mother to survive but at the same time, she is teaching herself to redha if anything is going to happen to her mother.

I just stood there, not knowing exactly what to do. Just trying so hard, not to cry so that I can be a source of strength to my friend. She's not crying, then why should I?

And when I need to leave, the moment I hug my friend, just wanting to give her strength, I cried. All I could say is, "Terus kuat ya, *****." I hope that is comforting enough. I really hope so.  

Allah... If I was in her boots, I don't think that I am strong enough. Then, please, please at least make us, her friends, beneficial to her. I hope that whenever she needs us, we could be there for her.

So, guys. Whenever you're giving up on life, NEVER EVER thought of suicide. Believe me, you're not the only one who are struggling. Allah test us on our weakest point. Everyone is struggling HARD in life. It's about what we are struggling for differentiate us.

And at the end, it was just a test to see how far you're going to turn your back on HIM or how close you're going to walk towards HIM.

That's what life are meant to be.

So,

Live well.

Please, live well.

Love, NHO.  

Minggu Mesra Siswa (MMS) Universiti Sultan Zainal Abidin (UniSZA) 2017

Assalamualaikum, :).

Seperti yang dah saya janjikan dalam posting sebelum ini, saya akan cerita serba sedikit tentang MMS di UniSZA. Ni masa senggang terakhir sebelum kuliah mula esok. Ambil kesempatan untuk datang ke library dan guna komputer yang ada.

Okey, basically, MMS untuk program saya berlangsung selama 5 hari, from 28 Mei sampai 1 Jun. Menurut Fasilitator Mahasiswa (FM), untuk batch tahun lepas, MMS mereka berlangsung selama satu minggu. Disebabkan kebetulan MMS kami kali ni jatuh pada bulan puasa, maka MMS dipendekkan kepada 5 hari shj. 

Aktiviti kami? Oh, biasalah, perasmian, taklimat, lawatan.

Bagi saya, MMS ni merupakan minggu yang sangat menyeronokkan. Cuma ada satu hal lah, ketahanan terhadap nafsu tidur korang mestilah tinggi. Selama kami MMS ni, paling lama saya dapat tidur ialah 4 jam setiap malam. Kalau ikutkan boleh je 5 jam, tapi sebab sejam yang pertama tu saya guna untuk basuh baju, bersihkan diri semua, so tinggallah 4 jam. Satu lagi, kalau korang jenis tak suka pakai baju kurung, harap korang bertabah selama MMS ni sebab dari pagi sampai malam korang kena pakai baju kurung. Hahahaha. Dahsyat tak? Bukanlah dari pagi sampai malam tu pakai baju kurung yang sama. Maksud saya, untuk aktiviti malam dan petang, dua2 kena pakai baju kurung. Jangan mimpilah nak pakai baju T muslimah ke apa sebab MMS ni acara formal. 

So, Nasha, MMS di UniSZA ni fasilitator punya layanan macam mana?

Oh, layanan fasilitator? Untuk makluman korang, FM terdiri daripada ahli Majlis Perwakilan Pelajar UniSZA. Layanan mereka? Susah nak katalah... Sebab baik sangat. Senang cerita, diaorang ni sentuh kita dengan hujung kuku pun tidak. Lepas tu setiap hari akan tanya kami sihat ke tidak, ada apa-apa masalah tak, kolej kediaman ada apa-apa masalah tak, ada apa-apa soalan tanya je. FM baik sangat2, sporting2 pulak tu. Rasa macam kakak abang sendiri je. Haha. Untuk pergerakan pelajar pun, setiap kali kami berjalan saja, mesti Abang Meor (Fasilitator yg bertanggungjawab untuk bahagian disiplin) suruh FM2 lain guide kami guna jalan yang paling dekat dan selamat. 

FM ni ada denda2 tak?

Uish, denda? Tak ada langsung. Tapi tak tahulah kalau korang ketegaq sangat mungkin lah kena kut. Hahaha. Sebab kami ni tak ramai sangat dan semua baik2. FM tak stres dengan kami. Makin hari makin sayang pulak tu. Bila FM dapat tahu kami tak cukup tidur, dibagi tambahan masa sepuluh minit untuk hari2 seterusnya. Haaa, baik kan.

Apa aktiviti wajib sepanjang MMS?

Dah tentulah solat berjemaah. Subuh, Zohor (asing lelaki perempuan), Maghrib berjemaah di surau kolej kediaman. Untuk Asar, solat sendiri dan Isyak pula memandangkan MMS kami jatuh pada bulan Ramadan, kami solat Isyak berjemaah di Masjid UniSZA. Nak pergi masjid pun kena naik bas tau. Tak dekat mana. Tapi lepas habis MMS, pandai2lah survive. Kalau ada bas bolehlah naik bas, kalau tak de, marilah kita berjalan kaki secara berjemaah. Ehhh, apa salahnya, pahala lebih apa. Nak lagi bulan2 Ramadan ni, pahala berlipat kali ganda. Dan sepanjang MMS ni, kami sahur, buka puasa dan berterawih ramai2. Manis sangat, kan? :)

Jadi, itulah serba sedikit apa yang saya boleh kongsi tentang MMS. Nak tanya apa-apa tentang UniSZA, pergilah buka twitter korang, tweet soalan korang dengan hashtag, #UniSZApastitahu dan #sedekadUniSZA. InsyaAllah, MPP semua akan jawab soalan korang. Setakat ni semua soalan berjawab tau, don't worry. Tapi kalau korang tanya through FB or Insta saya tak dpt bgi jaminan. Haha. 

Nak tanya dekat ruang komen bawah ni pun boleh je. Kalau saya reti jawab, saya jawab, insyaAllah.

Itu saja untuk posting kali ni. Terima kasih semua, :).

#UniSZApastitahu

#sedekadUniSZA

Saya Mahasiswi Universiti Sultan Zainal Abidin (UniSZA) 2017

Assalamualaikum, :).

Ambil kesempatan weekend di Terengganu untuk update blog sebelum kuliah mula Ahad ni.

So, saya malas nak berahsia bagai jadi saya kongsilah serba sedikit maklumat. Ahad yang lepas (28 Mei 2017) secara rasminya saya dah jadi mahasiswi di Universiti Sultan Zainal Abidin (UniSZA) atau namanya sebelum ini ialah Universiti Darul Iman/ Kolej Ugama Sultan Zainal Abidin (KUSZA). Course apa? Nanti lama2 korang tahulah 😂. Hint: Saya di Kampus Gong Badak. Siapa sama? Kalau nampak saya nanti tegur2lah.

Sebelum saya mula bercerita tentang MMS, marilah kita berkenalan sikit dengan UniSZA ni. Saya tahu yang tengah membaca ni pun macam, benda Allah apalah UniSZA ni? Dekat ceruk mana? Kenapa dowh aku tak pernah dengar nama dia? Asal weh nama dia pelik sgt? Dari planet marikh ke apa? Hahaha.

Jangan risau, anda tak keseorangan. Ramai je lagi orang yang macam blur2 tentang UniSZA ni. Hatta orang Terengganu sendiri pun ada yang tak kenal UniSZA.

So, UniSZA is mainly located di Terengganu. Ada 3 kampus di Terengganu, Kampus Gong Badak (boleh dikatakan sebagai kampus utama), Kampus Kota (Kampus perubatan khas untuk Medical Student) dan Kampus Besut (located in Tembila. more into IT, food tech, bio science courses). Di Selangor ada satu Pusat Antarabangsa UniSZA. Pusat Antarabangsa ni tak de kampus utk study tau, it's just a center for international student. Maybe international student punya urusan byk dekat situla. Nk interview ke apa ke.

Okey, sekarang korang dah tahu UniSZA tu dekat mana dan apa nama UniSZA yang lama. Jadi sekarang ni korang mesti nak tanya, Sis Nasha, UniSZA ni swasta ke? Bawah kerajaan pusat ke kerajaan negeri?

Sayang, UniSZA merupakan sebuah universiti awam dan dalam pengurusan kerajaan pusat. Kalau UniSZA ni bawah kerajaan negeri, kalau UniSZA ni universiti swasta, tak masuklah nama UniSZA dalam UPU tu, sayang. So please eh, kalau dengar ada orang cakap yang UniSZA ni U swasta ke U bawah kerajaan negeri ke, tolonglah tegur2 dan betulkan mind set mereka. Mungkin dulu masa namanya KUSZA, ya bawah kerajaan negeri. Sekarang namanya dah berubah... Lumrah lah, perubahan seiring peredaran zaman.

Now, saya nak tahu pulak, UniSZA ni buruk tak? Yalah, kan dah lama sejak zaman KUSZA dulu.

Amboi, soalan 😂. Materialistik sangat. Okeylah, kalau bagi saya, tak buruk lah. Okey je. Lawo je. Cantik je. Luas je. Tak percaya? Mehlaaa kita payung gambar Pusat Islam UniSZA.

Amacam? Lawa kan? Kalau satu bangunan je dah lawa macam ni apatah lagi bangunan lain? Apa lagi yang korang nak?

Okeylah, UniSZA lawa, tapi tadi Sis Nasha ada sebut pasal international student kan? So, UniSZA ada international student? Like seriously? Ingatkan UIA je ada.

Tulah, lain kali kenal elok2 cerita UniSZA 😂. Dekat sini ada lebih kurang 500 student luar negara. Nak gelap, cerah, tua, muda, semua ada. Tinggal nak tackle je. Hahaha. Gurau2. Gi universiti jaga amanah mak ayah eh, jangan gatal nak bercinta. Nak kenal2 je tak apa, tapi jaga hati dan jaga diri tu. Dah habis belajar, dah kerja nanti, nak kahwin pun tak ada siapa nak halang.

Stop, Sis Nasha. Janganlah membebel. Kata nak kenal2 UniSZA.

Ehem, okey2. Next, environment UniSZA. Nak jujur lah, ingatkan selama ni UIA, USIM ja islamik sikit. Tapi sebenaqnya UniSZA pun boleh tahan. Kawan2, adik2, yang ada cita2 nak tarbiyah diri jadi Muslim yg lebih baik, UniSZA lah tempat yang patut korang tuju bila nak masuk universiti nanti. Saya bagi satu contoh, penggunaan gimnasium UniSZA ada jadual bergilir untuk siswa dan siswi bagi menjaga pergaulan. Contohnya: Ahad, Selasa utk lelaki. Isnin, Khamis utk perempuan. Ada lgi contoh2 lain. Tapi tu nanti saya cerita dalam post Minggu Mesra Siswa.

Kalau Sis Nasha boleh buat perbandingan UniSZA dengan U lain, Sis Nasha rasa, UniSZA ni dah kalahkan U apa?

Pergh, soalan sensitif 😂. Berpeluh nak jawab. Okeylah macam ni, jawapan saya senang je. Korang datang sendiri, selami sendiri, alami sendiri. Nescaya korang akan faham dan akan jatuh cinta. Tak percaya part jatuh cinta tu? Suka hatilah. Sis Nasha dah nasihat dah. Nanti kalau terjatuh cinta jangan marah ya.

Setakat ni dululah apa yang saya boleh cerita tentang UniSZA secara umum. Nanti saya akan buat post tentang Minggu Mesra Siswa UniSZA dan tentang course yang saya ambil... Tang course tu saya tengok dulu masa senggang saya macam mana ya. Yang MMS tu pasti ada, yg course tu tak pasti lagi.

Saya pasti ramai yang tertanya2, ehhh, masa MMS ni kan Fasilitator buli2 dak? Mesti kena dera jilat lantai. Aisyyy. Hebat betul imaginasi korang. 😂

Nanti saya cerita ya.

Till then.

Assalamualaikum.

#UniSZAPastiTahu
#SedekadUniSZA

What Type of You?

Assalamualaikum, guys! Tengok tajuk semacam saja kan? Yang penting, post kali ni tak berkait tentang cerpen atau novel. Saya cuma nak tulis something like a self reminder. Benda ni dah lama tulis, simpan dalam notepad. Hari ni baru rasa nak letak dekat blog, sebelum saya up bab 11 RUN.

Jadi mari kita layan bebelan saya!

At some stages of your life, somehow what, it's YOU, yourself who have to determine what type of you that you want to be.

Korang pernah tak jalan-jalan then ternampak teenagers yang tengah bercakap dengan their parents? It's normal lah kan tengok teenagers yang bercakap dengan their parents.

But then, what is your reaction when suddenly the teenager raises his/her voice to his/her parent? Walhal parent dia tanya something dengan tone yang biasa saja. Tone orang berbual. Then the boy/girl jawab dengan suara yang meninggi.

It's like they are scolding their parents, you know?

I understand kalau sekali je you buat benda tu sebab sometimes kita mungkin ada bad mood kita sendiri then kadang2 kita terlepas. But then, when you repeat the same tone for the second time, I macam tak boleh accept. Because if it's me, when I tak sengaja raise my voice up, I rasa sangat2 bersalah. That guilty feeling yang akan buat kau makan masa 30 minit just to think about how did you just talk to your mum/dad? Yang buat kau fikir, agak2 mak terasa tak aku naik suara tadi? Aku bukannya sengaja. Ternaik je. Macam mana eh nak cakap dekat mak? It's like 30 minit kau duk fikir benda yang sama then suddenly mak kau bercakap dengan kau balik with the usual tone/ usual way she used to cakap with you yang buatkan kau rasa macam, oh, mak's okay. Mak tak terasa. But actually, you cannot sedapkan hati you macam tu je, because for the whole 30 minutes tu sebenarnya mak kau tengah terasa dan tengah pujuk hati dia to memahami your bad mood and tengah pujuk hati dia untuk memaafkan kau.

It's just sooo rude for ANAK untuk guna tone suara MARAH while talking to MAK AYAH.

Then, you (sebagai pemerhati situation tadi) surely have this thought in your mind like, "Alah, biarlah. Mak ayah dia orang juga yang salah. Siapa suruh didik anak macam tu? Siapa suruh tak ajar anak tone yang betul masa cakap dengan mak ayah? Siapa suruh tak tegur anak when they are using the wrong tone?"

Yesss, memang betul segala pandangan2 tu.

But...

Somehow what, at some stages of my life, it's me, myself who decide what type of me I want to be.

18 years old, guys. 18.

Tak peliklah why when you're 18, you're allowed to marry (for the guys), why when you're 18, you're allowed to enter the cinema to watch the gaduh2 type movie...

It's because, you dah CUKUP MATANG.

Apabila kita dah capai satu tahap cukup matang, tak kisahlah how our parents didik kita dulu, kita sebenarnya yang tentukan, siapa yang kita nak jadi. Kita tak boleh nak salahkan parents yang tak didik kita dengan betul bila kita decide untuk tinggikan suara kita bila bercakap dengan mereka. No, it's not their fault ANYMORE when we could actually choose how we are going to talk to them. Kita dah ada sebaik2 ilmu agama, dah dididik dengan adab... Okay, let's say, your parents didn't teach you this... But sorry guys, we were thought with adab since our primary studies. Andai kata lah, kita tak pergi sekolah sekali pun, kita dah baca, dah jumpa dalam al-Quran, how is the proper way to talk to our parents.

Tak pernah jumpa?

Surah al-Isra, ayat 23-24.

And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.

And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small."

Ayat 23 tu is about how we shold treat our parents and ayat 24 tu ialah doa untuk ibu bapa.

So, takkanlah benda basic yang ditunjukkan dalam al-Quran pun tak boleh apply dalam hidup?

Kita dah matang, kan?

Atau...

Pemikiran kita tidak semakin rasional seiring dengan peningkatan usia kita?

Sama-sama kita renungkan.

Sekian, tamat bebelan.

Terima kasih rajin baca.