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Saturday, 30 September 2017



Hope that u have a nice day.

About the title, now I understand why we should not trust others whole-heartedly. Even if they are the most kind human being on earth.

At times, friends might turn out into foes. People who we trust the most might turn out into those who will back stab us.

Something happened recently. Me n a few of my housemates are on a "not-talking term".

Many things causes this to happen. Lies, misunderstandings, secrets. But don't worry. We're okay now. We've voice things out and things are solved for now.

It's just that after thinking for like 2 or 3 hours after the discussion session, I felt like I have totally being fooled.

The secrets that they kept, the other housemates, ALL of them know about it too. But they pretend like they know nothing everytime I voice out my curiosity towards them. I trust them, but they fool me.

I just... it's hard for me to trust anymore after this. And maybe I'll just be the invisible human in the house. Well, all this while my existence means nothing to them, right? Might as well I just be turn into an invisible human. It's better if they can't see me. Because they will not have to bother about my thoughts or feelings anymore, like what they used to do.

I am just a merely existence for them.

I'm not going to care about others anymore. Let they live their life. Because each time I tried to care about them, all they gave to me in return are just bullshits. Yes, exactly.

Let's not care about your friends anymore. Believe me, they don't care about you as much as you care about them. (And still, you won't feel like doing this, if you haven't experience this. You will have a thought that my idea is the worst idea in life. But actually, it's a good one.)

Beware. Some of your friends might give a poisoned apple in return of the sweet and good apple that you gave them.

In the end, your friendship will work out only if the relationship is being blessed by Allah. 😊

Saturday, 26 August 2017

Sometimes, it is Not Love...


While my friends at other institutions are having their Raya break, I'm still at UniSZA, counting days till my holiday begins. Well, we don't really have holidays in this course. Even weekends are full with activities.

It's challenging. Yes, it is. But, we're okay.

So, about that topic up there.

Sometimes, it is not love.

University life is a life where you can find love in it. Three months here, a few of my friends are now involved in love conflicts. They said that their relationship is nothing more than just a friendship. Nah, we're not too blind to see the real colour of the relationship.

Here's the story.

At first, yes, I admit. It seems like a normal friendship. But, as time goes on, when they started to go out together, chatting on Whatsapp every moment (except during classes)... And people starts to know about them... People start to talk about them, tease them...

I just realized something. Sometimes, it is not love that makes their relationship turns from being a friend to a lover.

You know, when people teases you, when people tell you that they like seeing you with him, when people tell you that you suits him well... You will have that kind of spark in your heart. The excitement, the proud feelings, that makes you feel like you should hold on to him.

We doesn't realize that what we did (all of the teases and praises) are the causes of their relationship state changes. What we did actually makes things easier for Satan to drag humans away from Allah.

Sometimes, it's not love. It's your feelings that has been swayed by Satan, just to make sure that you're getting far from Allah. 

Just a simple and gentle reminder for me, and you in the future. If your friends are having a relationship, please don't provoke them. Please don't praise them, please don't tell them that he is good enough for her.

You don't need to tell them that you like seeing them together but you don't need to tell them that you don't like seeing them together either. Just be quiet. Don't bother about their relationship so that they can think wisely what's good and what's bad for them without influences from the outside.

Hope that they're matured enough and emotionally stable enough to think wisely. That's all.

Thank you for reading.

Tuesday, 22 August 2017



Remember my post on 21 August 2017?

I wrote about my friend's mother who is fighting cancer.

Just now, at 6.00 pm. I received news that her mother has passed away this evening.

It was really heartbreaking.

To those who are reading this, your dua and good wishes are welcome.

Thank you. 

Monday, 21 August 2017



It has been a while since my last update. Well, I'm okay. Things around me are going well. And I hope things are going well for you guys too.

So, being alone, away from family... I've gone through so many experiences, urging me to think A LOT about LIFE, HUMANS. Getting to know new people with different backgrounds, different stories, different attitude, is the most beautiful experience out of all experiences.

Being so far away from family for the first time ever in my life is tough. There are moments I thought of giving up. I just thought of, "Kenapa aku seorang saja yang tercampak jauh macam ni? Kawan-kawan aku tak jauh sangat pun. KL, Pahang. Nak balik sebulan sekali pun boleh je. Abang aku pun Selangor je."

Well, these thoughts happen to exist because I had to travel 13 hours just to be home. If it was 8.30 pm from KT, then I would have to sleep at Terminal Sentral Kuantan to wait for my next bus at 8.30 am (earliest). And guess what? Yeah, I can't sleep there. Even there are airconds, there are benches... Only after I had my subuh prayer done, I can sleep in the surau. (The surau closes at night, opens for subuh onwards)

Then, with the packed lecture schedule... 7 subjects that will ALL contribute to your final marks. 7 subjects, with 4 of them are science subjects... Yes, again. I feel like giving up. Since I am the only student from my school that is taking foundation in science with so many subjects, I had this thoughts, "Kenapa aku sorang je yang masih bergelumang dengan subjek sains ni? Wae? Wae? Kenapa asasi kawan2 aku yang lain semua senang2 je? Kenapa dowh top student sekolah aku tu, dia further studies dia dalam finance? And aku ni yang tak berapa top masih bergelumang dengan sains."

Yes, with all the thoughts... That are making me weaker. I, unknowingly, KILL my own soul.

So recently, I just realized something. I don't know. I was just walking around and I had this thought. (Since my university is empty now because the other students are on their holiday, I had the chance to walk slowly while thinking.)

I should not complain about why I am here. Terengganu is where Allah wants me to be. Only now, I found the hikmah.

Why am I here, instead of the overseas?
Why am I here, instead of the private universities (with scholarship)?
Why am I here, instead of Selangor or maybe just inside Pahang?

Hearing stories from my friends, seeing how the situation there changes them, I just realized that, maybe if I was there, I too, will be like them.

All I want is to be on the right path. That is what I recite everyday in my solah and before reading the Quran. And that is what Allah gave me.

Terengganu helps me a lot. My friends here, the people here, help me a lot. No, not by their helping hands, but by their stories, their actions. 

The course that I am taking now, there must be a reason. Why? Why is it harder compared to my other friends? Well, I am still searching for the hikmah. Hope that I will find it out sooner or later.

I don't really set a target here. Once, after I get my SPM results, I might want to be a doctor. But it seems that now, the desire is not as strong as before. Why? Because I saw so many, just so many of my friends that I thought more eligible than me. And, I've meet a few doctors here. Seeing their struggle, I don't think that I am strong enough to go through the pain.

Well, that is what I thought of at least for now.

I don't know what the future are going to surprise me.

For now, I will just do my best with my studies and I will live well.

About how the people here help me a lot... 

I met so many friends here, which on the outside, they look well, they are always cheerful, always happy, they look like they are living their life well. But they had this story that they keep to themselves. I thought that I had struggle enough in this life. But no, they struggle much, much, more.

Family conflicts.

I could never understand, how being a teenager, they survived. They excel in their studies. They have good manners. They're being HUMAN, despite the family conflicts that they are living in.

I really, really salute them.

Last Friday, I went to the hospital to visit a sick friend. I had the chance to visit my other friend's mother who is sick. She is fighting cancer.

The whole ward is full with patients having cancer. I just can't look at them. No, I am not strong enough. They fight for life but at the same time, they had to accept that death will come to them, anytime.

My friend, she is really struggling. We're supposed to sit for mid term examination last week. But, she had to face a bigger test. Her mother, is diagnosed AGAIN with cancer. Her mother had breast cancer before. She survived the first time. But now, the cancer cell attack her again. Now, affecting her bone.

My friend, she is SO strong. Really, really strong. She sat by her mother's side, hands holding her mother's, not crying even a bit, calmly whispering, "Lailahaillallah..." near to her mother's ears. She had a fight inside her. She wants her mother to survive but at the same time, she is teaching herself to redha if anything is going to happen to her mother.

I just stood there, not knowing exactly what to do. Just trying so hard, not to cry so that I can be a source of strength to my friend. She's not crying, then why should I?

And when I need to leave, the moment I hug my friend, just wanting to give her strength, I cried. All I could say is, "Terus kuat ya, *****." I hope that is comforting enough. I really hope so.  

Allah... If I was in her boots, I don't think that I am strong enough. Then, please, please at least make us, her friends, beneficial to her. I hope that whenever she needs us, we could be there for her.

So, guys. Whenever you're giving up on life, NEVER EVER thought of suicide. Believe me, you're not the only one who are struggling. Allah test us on our weakest point. Everyone is struggling HARD in life. It's about what we are struggling for differentiate us.

And at the end, it was just a test to see how far you're going to turn your back on HIM or how close you're going to walk towards HIM.

That's what life are meant to be.


Live well.

Please, live well.

Love, NHO.  

Saturday, 3 June 2017

Minggu Mesra Siswa (MMS) Universiti Sultan Zainal Abidin (UniSZA) 2017

Assalamualaikum, :).

Seperti yang dah saya janjikan dalam posting sebelum ini, saya akan cerita serba sedikit tentang MMS di UniSZA. Ni masa senggang terakhir sebelum kuliah mula esok. Ambil kesempatan untuk datang ke library dan guna komputer yang ada.

Okey, basically, MMS untuk program saya berlangsung selama 5 hari, from 28 Mei sampai 1 Jun. Menurut Fasilitator Mahasiswa (FM), untuk batch tahun lepas, MMS mereka berlangsung selama satu minggu. Disebabkan kebetulan MMS kami kali ni jatuh pada bulan puasa, maka MMS dipendekkan kepada 5 hari shj. 

Aktiviti kami? Oh, biasalah, perasmian, taklimat, lawatan.

Bagi saya, MMS ni merupakan minggu yang sangat menyeronokkan. Cuma ada satu hal lah, ketahanan terhadap nafsu tidur korang mestilah tinggi. Selama kami MMS ni, paling lama saya dapat tidur ialah 4 jam setiap malam. Kalau ikutkan boleh je 5 jam, tapi sebab sejam yang pertama tu saya guna untuk basuh baju, bersihkan diri semua, so tinggallah 4 jam. Satu lagi, kalau korang jenis tak suka pakai baju kurung, harap korang bertabah selama MMS ni sebab dari pagi sampai malam korang kena pakai baju kurung. Hahahaha. Dahsyat tak? Bukanlah dari pagi sampai malam tu pakai baju kurung yang sama. Maksud saya, untuk aktiviti malam dan petang, dua2 kena pakai baju kurung. Jangan mimpilah nak pakai baju T muslimah ke apa sebab MMS ni acara formal. 

So, Nasha, MMS di UniSZA ni fasilitator punya layanan macam mana?

Oh, layanan fasilitator? Untuk makluman korang, FM terdiri daripada ahli Majlis Perwakilan Pelajar UniSZA. Layanan mereka? Susah nak katalah... Sebab baik sangat. Senang cerita, diaorang ni sentuh kita dengan hujung kuku pun tidak. Lepas tu setiap hari akan tanya kami sihat ke tidak, ada apa-apa masalah tak, kolej kediaman ada apa-apa masalah tak, ada apa-apa soalan tanya je. FM baik sangat2, sporting2 pulak tu. Rasa macam kakak abang sendiri je. Haha. Untuk pergerakan pelajar pun, setiap kali kami berjalan saja, mesti Abang Meor (Fasilitator yg bertanggungjawab untuk bahagian disiplin) suruh FM2 lain guide kami guna jalan yang paling dekat dan selamat. 

FM ni ada denda2 tak?

Uish, denda? Tak ada langsung. Tapi tak tahulah kalau korang ketegaq sangat mungkin lah kena kut. Hahaha. Sebab kami ni tak ramai sangat dan semua baik2. FM tak stres dengan kami. Makin hari makin sayang pulak tu. Bila FM dapat tahu kami tak cukup tidur, dibagi tambahan masa sepuluh minit untuk hari2 seterusnya. Haaa, baik kan.

Apa aktiviti wajib sepanjang MMS?

Dah tentulah solat berjemaah. Subuh, Zohor (asing lelaki perempuan), Maghrib berjemaah di surau kolej kediaman. Untuk Asar, solat sendiri dan Isyak pula memandangkan MMS kami jatuh pada bulan Ramadan, kami solat Isyak berjemaah di Masjid UniSZA. Nak pergi masjid pun kena naik bas tau. Tak dekat mana. Tapi lepas habis MMS, pandai2lah survive. Kalau ada bas bolehlah naik bas, kalau tak de, marilah kita berjalan kaki secara berjemaah. Ehhh, apa salahnya, pahala lebih apa. Nak lagi bulan2 Ramadan ni, pahala berlipat kali ganda. Dan sepanjang MMS ni, kami sahur, buka puasa dan berterawih ramai2. Manis sangat, kan? :)

Jadi, itulah serba sedikit apa yang saya boleh kongsi tentang MMS. Nak tanya apa-apa tentang UniSZA, pergilah buka twitter korang, tweet soalan korang dengan hashtag, #UniSZApastitahu dan #sedekadUniSZA. InsyaAllah, MPP semua akan jawab soalan korang. Setakat ni semua soalan berjawab tau, don't worry. Tapi kalau korang tanya through FB or Insta saya tak dpt bgi jaminan. Haha. 

Nak tanya dekat ruang komen bawah ni pun boleh je. Kalau saya reti jawab, saya jawab, insyaAllah.

Itu saja untuk posting kali ni. Terima kasih semua, :).